


Resist

by inexplicabletrousers



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (guess who?), Also murders, Charity Worker!Rey, Emotional Abuse, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Mental Abuse, Modern AU, Modern Era, Physical Abuse, Rey POV, Save Ben Solo, Slow Burn, again not many, bad bloke snoke, ben solo redemption, cop! poe, cult member!Ben, mostly - Freeform, not a great deal, some violence, very vague legal speak because i don't want to research
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-04 23:44:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14604360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inexplicabletrousers/pseuds/inexplicabletrousers
Summary: Rey works for Resist, a charity established by Leia Organa and Luke Skywalker with the money left to them by their father upon his death in mysterious circumstances. Resist helps victims of cults and works to save those embroiled in them. Their current target is the Order, an group dedicated to freeing people from the chaos of the every day through precision and organisation. She meets with Snoke's 'apprentice', (secretary? Who has an apprentice??) Kylo, on a weekly basis to gain intelligence, and Snoke sanctions the communication as a form of public relations.What will happen? Will anyone fall in love and be conflicted about their role in all this? It's a mystery.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet our dashing heroine and her irritating contact within the Order. What is with that guy? And how is his hair so nice? All this and more! (Not the hair stuff)

Rey glanced up, nodding at Kylo as he pushed through the glass panelled door. She was surprised to see him dressed in a charcoal grey shirt rather than his usual black, though it was loose fitting as always, as were the non-descript black trousers beneath it. She wondered vaguely if this constituted a minor rebellion against the Supreme Leader, a kernel of hope planting itself in the pit of her stomach. She would do some digging in their conversation once she got through the routine check in. He relaxed visibly when he spotted her and made his way over to her table, shoulders still hunched as he maneuvered his large frame through the tables and chairs. As he lowered himself into the seat opposite her, he frowned, squinting in the sun that streamed through the window behind her, surrounding her and making it almost impossible to look at her. He stood again and lifted the chair, bringing it round to sit beside Rey instead. He reached across and pulled the glass of water across the table to rest in front of him. Rey watched as the condensation dripped slowly down the side of the glass, frustrated that Kylo was not doing anything about it. The water collected in a pool around the outside of the glass, which he had not placed on a mat. It would leave a ring on the table. If they were at her house she would insist on a mat; she didn’t have much, but what she had she valued. She had spent a long time gradually collecting, fixing and cherishing the things she had in her small apartment. She knew that Kylo didn’t have anything, or at least he shouldn’t based on what she knew of his sect. There was a strong sense of asceticism throughout - hell, he only ever drank water whenever they met, despite the fact that her job covered the cost of anything they ordered, something she had taken advantage of on a few occasions when money had been tight and that would be the only meal she got that day. Perhaps Kylo’s disconnection from the world extended to a lack of care with regards to the possessions of others. Perhaps he just hadn’t noticed. She had ruined her fair share of things through lack of care when she had been in various homes throughout her life, but Plutt had set her straight. She wouldn’t let herself slip up even now she had left that hellhole. Force of habit she supposed. 

 

She pulled her attention from the glass and turned to Kylo, raising her tea to her lips and taking a sip. He was watching her with his lip quirked upwards in faint amusement. ‘You’ve been staring at my glass for a couple of minutes now,’ he drawled, ‘you’re welcome to drink it if you’re that thirsty but we won’t have time for toilet breaks, I have to be back at 4.’

 

She marvelled for a moment at the casual tone with which he discussed returning to the cult that she was actively looking to undermine and disband as the main part of her day-job working with the trust. It was his everyday, she supposed. Still, the things she had read about the Order… she wrested herself from her thoughts and cleared her throat. ‘I don’t want your water, you need a drink mat. And I see your 4 and I’ll raise you - I have to be back at quarter to.’ She grabbed the drink mat from across the table and proffered it. Kylo took it and placed it on the table beside the glass. For a moment she thought he was going to just leave it there, and she had to remind herself to maintain a professional air. It was not a good thing how easily he could rile her up, and he knew exactly what he was doing. He paused just a moment too long before lifting the glass and placing it on the mat. He was doing it on purpose. When he spoke it was with the same cool detached tone as always.

 

‘Gambling is a waste of both money and energy. There are better ways to spend your time’ He told her and she gaped for a moment. Of course he couldn’t just accept an innocuous comment without turning it into an opportunity to preach to her. She was baffled by the notion that he still seemed to believe she might go with him to the Supreme Leader, and still actively pursued that goal, albeit indirectly. 

 

‘Right.’ She barely acknowledged the remark before moving onto what she was supposed to be doing. ‘Ok, so what does Snoke want us to think this week?’ She saw Kylo flinch at her use of Snoke’s name rather than his title - it was almost imperceptible but she had been trained to notice ticks. She saw his eyes flick up to hers for a second and his jaw twitch as though to speak; whether to object to her lack of respect or to confess something she didn’t know - he bit back the words before they could explode out of him. 

 

‘He wanted me to explain the incident with Hux.’ Rey almost laughed at Kylo’s distaste for the other man which came through even in the single syllable that comprised his name. The incident, known to Resist, the charity she worked for, as their first break in that case. Hux’s impassioned rant on eradicating disorder and destroying those who seek to undermine them (read: Resist and the police taskforce they were currently working with) uploaded to youtube by an as yet unidentified fanatic member of the Order was the first crack in the professional, sleek facade that the Order presented to the world. An aesthetic retreat from society where organisation and precision were paramount, and where people could go to get away from the chaos of the world - an image not reflected by the weapons and parts they had been quietly amassing for the past six years. So far they had broken no laws. Rey hoped this was the first crack of many that would lead to the eventual arrest of the Supreme Leader and disbanding of the cult. Hux’s speech had made her skin crawl. 

 

‘Yeah that didn’t look good for you.’ The video had only garnered a few views before Resist had managed to get it taken down, but even so it was troubling. Kylo bristled at her use of pronouns. 

 

‘I was not involved.’ He stated firmly, but Rey raised an eyebrow. She had seen him in the footage, lurking behind Hux like a spectre in ridiculous black robes. He scowled and rolled his eyes. ‘I was there. It doesn’t mean I had anything to do with the speech or its publication.’

 

‘Whatever you say.’ Rey told him, jotting down a few notes. As usual Kylo tried to peer at what she was writing, but she held the notebook close, not allowing him to see what she had written. ‘What’s the official line, then?’ There was no pretence in their sessions that Kylo would intentionally say anything other than what Snoke had told him to. She knew he valued his position as the Supreme Leader’s apprentice too much to disobey. If she was honest his sycophancy turned her stomach at times - it was almost pathetic how much he craved the man’s approval. Today was no different. He took a breath and straightened in his chair, sitting taller than he had previously, before beginning a short and obviously rehearsed speech. Rey jotted down the words verbatim as she had been trained - add your thoughts later, write down exactly what is said so that if anything happens and we have to use it as evidence it’s not compromised.

‘While Armitage Hux is an important and esteemed member of our organisation, his personal views could be read as something more extreme than those of the Order. Hux’s enthusiasm is laudable, but the Order wishes to make it clear that the only thing we seek to destroy is that which does not enrich the lives of our members and clients.’ Kylo breathed out as he finished his oration and he slumped back in the chair, waiting for Rey’s response. For her part, Rey sat, leaning slightly forward listening as she jotted down his words. Her neutral air was very practised which he could probably tell, but it was better than the alternative; she was fairly sure she was getting a headache from all the internal eye-rolling.

 

‘Noted.’ Was the only response she gave him. She wasn’t about to validate this lunacy. To be honest it shocked her how normal he could pretend to be, but she had seen the robes. She had seen the mask. That always gave her pause; not that she had seen him wearing it in person, but she had seen pictures of the strange ceremonies that Snoke held, with Kylo standing beside him, simultaneously imposing and ridiculous in robes and a mask covering every inch of him so that none of his pale flesh was exposed. She should remember who he was, she told herself for the hundredth time. Even his new name was stupid, she had just adjusted after a while to the unfamiliar syllables. She hadn’t worked out his real name yet - she knew her boss knew but apparently that was above her pay grade. She’d get there eventually under her own steam - she’d wheedle it out of either Kylo or Leia. She kind of wished Finn knew - Finn would tell her immediately, probably in some weird attempt to stop her talking to Kylo regardless of the fact that talking to him was an important part of her job.  Of course she had promised Finn she would tell him if she found out first, which seemed likely given that Finn generally avoided anything to do with the Order. 

 

Kylo deflated slightly and lifted his glass, draining it as Rey cast her eye through what she had written, ensuring that she missed nothing. ‘Is that all?’ She asked and he nodded. She paused for a moment before pressing her lips together and asking. ‘And you? Are you ok?’ That threw him. His eyes widened and he swallowed, body language immediately changing from relaxed and confident to closed. He looked away, arms folded over his chest. 

 

‘I’m fine. The Order is very helpful.’ He told her, looking back with a steely gaze. She sighed.

 

‘I’m not trying to trick you into betraying anyone, Kylo. I’m just asking. We see each other every week, it’s not strange that I would ask about your wellbeing.’ And you’re part of a cult which clearly brainwashes and abuses it’s members, she thought but did not voice. Kylo’s grip on his elbow loosened and he looked down. 

 

‘I’m still fine.’ He intoned. ‘How are you?’ Rey shrugged. 

 

‘I’m mostly ok. I’m still finding my feet at work. There’s a lot of forms I don’t understand.’ She clarified when he shot her a quizzical expression. 

 

‘I imagine you;re doing a good job.’ He told her frankly. ‘You’re intelligent and professional, you’ll manage.’ Now it was Rey’s turn to be taken aback. The compliments were delivered in such a matter of fact manner that she didn’t know how she was supposed to respond. She felt a blush creeping up her neck and cursed herself inwardly. 

 

‘Thanks?’ She replied, breathing out a laugh. He shrugged and glanced at his watch.

 

‘It’s 15:40,’ he told her, rising and picking up both her mug and his own half-full glass. ‘You need to go.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this! I have a weird fascination with cults. I might end up alternating perspectives, but I haven't written Rey's POV properly and I am really enjoying it. I have also started a fic with a vague idea of where I'm going which is highly ooc for me so prepare yourselves for.... Actual plot!!! I know right. Astonishing.
> 
> Comments and kudos pay Rey's wages. Girl needs money to eat.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey writes up her meeting, and we get to meet some more people who work at Resist!
> 
> Leia lets something slip.

Pushing back the door to the office with her shoulder and heading back across the room, Rey heaved a sigh of relief as she dropped the pile of books and papers on the floor beside her desk and flexed her stiff elbows. Leia spotted her through the glass door of her office and Rey saw her nod a greeting, shooting her a quick smile though her eyes betrayed how stressed she was. She continued to speak on the phone for a moment before putting it down and coming out of her office to speak with Rey. She had taken something of a special interest in this case, and while technically it was Rey’s purview, the younger woman didn’t mind the assistance. This was the first case that was her responsibility - it had started as a small case that would be easy enough to deal with; the intention had been to get Kylo out of there along with Hux and then watch the operation crumble as the Supreme Leader had no-one on whom he could fully rely. Unfortunately his hold over Kylo was firm, despite her best efforts, and Rey had not been able to get in contact with Hux at all. Leia was probably so invested because she saw how badly Rey was messing this case up she thought for a second, but she pushed that down. No. She was doing what she could; she was one person, she shouldn’t expect that much of herself. She still kind of did. 

 

‘Good meeting?’ Leia asked. Rey shrugged and handed over her notes, letting Leia read through Kylo’s nonsense as well as her notes. She saw Leia swallow painfully and again she was floored by both the woman’s capacity for empathy, and her ability to stop those feelings from affecting her work. 

 

‘He needs to talk to normal people more often.’ Rey muttered and Leia nodded. 

 

‘That’s kind of what we’re doing here. We get him out, he gets to talk to normal people. For now he’ll have to make do with you.’ Something mischievous sparkled for a moment in Leia’s eyes and Rey furrowed her brow, working out the insult. 

 

‘I’m normal enough.’ Rey replied indignantly. ‘I’ve never worn robes at least.’ She argued, and Leia smiled sadly. 

 

‘I wasn’t insinuating that Ben-’ she cleared her throat before continuing, ‘- Kylo, is normal. Just that you haven’t exactly had an easy life either.’ 

 

Ben. 

 

That was a surprisingly normal name. She assumed that Ren was also a pseudonym, or his parents were sadists - Ben Ren would be one of the more ridiculous names she had ever heard. Not as stupid as Kylo, but still silly. It was half a mystery solved - she’d text Finn later on and they could speculate to their hearts’ content. She was still uncertain as to why Leia was so invested in keeping Kylo’s identity from her. Probably some data protection bullshit or something, but this was her case right? Whatever. She should get to work writing up their meeting so she was ready for the weekly review session. It should be a short one - hers was the only major case they were dealing with at the moment. Leia was handling some small case which was probably more crime-family than cult and training up their latest recruit; Caspian Ransolm. The man was older than Rey, but had not needed to work for most of his life - this seemed to largely be a way to stave off boredom and investigate an interest than a job for him. He was a nice guy though; a bit stuck up, but she could deal with that. What made him harder to take was his seemingly genuine belief that the Order was just a group of minimalists helping people to declutter. 

 

She imagined he and Kylo would actually get on quite well, if Kylo was capable of getting on with anyone besides her; his meetings with Poe, their police liason, prior to her taking on the case were reportedly very hostile. She sighed and turned on her laptop, opening the template she needed and saving it with today’s date to her ‘Kylo’ file. 

 

_ Summary: _

 

_ Met with Kylo Ren on the 6th February 2018,  _ nope. Back that out.  _ February 6th 2018.  _ She tried to keep her date formatting consistent with that of documents written by other Resist workers, most of whom were american.  _ As usual he was deliberately irritating but pretended to be above having a sense of humour like a dick.  _ Aaaaand back that out too. She was not in the right headspace to write today, but she needed to get this down while she still remembered the meeting.  _ Ren wore a grey shirt, almost black but not quite, breaking from his usual Order approved garb. Possibly a minor rebellion, but I’m probably reading too much into it . He drank water, as usual. Said he had to be back at 4 then half arsed  -  _ nope get rid of that -  _ tried to convince me to join the Order. We discussed the video released by Armitage Hux and Snoke’s response (see transcript of our conversation below).  _

 

_ Personal details discussed or discovered: _

 

Rey didn’t like this section. It seemed like an intrusion, but then she supposed it was nowhere near the level of transparency and devotion she knew Snoke demanded. Finn had told her about the vlogs - Finns had not been watched by Snoke as his position within the organisation had not been not high enough, but she supposed Snoke saw everything Kylo was thinking if he was as devoted as he seemed to be. 

 

_ There wasn’t much time for personal conversation and Ren seemed not to want to engage on this level today. He tried to read my notes again, but they were just what he was saying so nothing confidential. I still didn’t let him. He clammed up when I asked how he was. He seemed surprised, which was a sad reflection on the care the Order takes of its members.  _ Was that too much of her personal opinion. Probably. She would put it in the reflection section later on. She backed it out again right up to ‘he seemed surprised,’ where she described body language in the same detached tone that was required. 

 

A quarter of an hour later she saved her document and stood, stretching her shoulders slightly. Paige would shout at her; the woman had one of those apps that flashes up on your screen and makes you do some exercise every ten minutes when you’re working at a desk, or something ridiculous like that. Rey preferred to do things all at once or not at all. If she was going to exercise she would go for a run and not turn back until she could feel nothing but the thumping of her heart. If she was working she would sit for as long as it took to get the job done. She supposed that was part of what frustrated her about Kylo - she couldn’t just sit with him and talk it out until he saw sense; it had to be more subtle than that. Maybe she was in the wrong job. Whatever. She picked up her notebook again and headed into the meeting room.

 

As she expected the meeting didn’t go for long. She let herself zone out while Rose reported on Finn’s progress. She knew how well Finn was doing - Poe had called on her first after taking Finn’s statement, and the two had become firm friends. Living with him was probably unprofessional, but it was a lot less unprofessional than Poe dating him so she figured she was doing ok. He was barely there anyway, something that was either due to how besotted he was with Poe or more likely how besotted he was with Poe’s dog Beebee. Dog-sitting was Finn’s usual excuse, and she knew Poe did work late a lot. She was used to being on her own anyway - even when she had shared a room with 3 other girls she had carved out a small space of her own. Her one bedroom apartment felt luxurious, even when Finn was sleeping on her couch. 

 

Anyway she knew he was doing pretty well. His passport had come in recently and Poe was teaching him to drive (though she was uncertain how safe that was. Poe was a good driver, but he was a good driver with a siren. Finn didn’t have that luxury.) He had a few interviews lined up, and was thinking about further study if he could work that out financially. He’d be fine.    
  


Ransolm gave the report on Rinrivin’s organisation and did a great job. The man was a captivating speaker and managed to make what seemed a pretty dull case fascinating. She wondered how exciting he’d make the Order sound if he’d get his head out of his arse and accept that they were definitely dangerous. Leia seemed happy with his presentation though, which was nice. She had been fairly harsh with him when he first joined, probably to do with his general air of entitlement, but they seemed to have developed a good working relationship now which made the office more pleasant to be in. 

 

The meeting ended at 4:30 and Leia sent everyone home early for the night which was a welcome surprise. Meeting Kylo always exhausted her for some reason, despite, or maybe because of, the fact that she found herself strangely drawn to him. Probably some cult nonsense he was pulling - the Order’s answer to flirty fishing. She shuddered at the very idea of him trying to seduce her into his ridiculous beliefs. No. She shook her head - she was being stupid. Kylo - Ben - didn’t have the social skills to pull off something like that. That reminded her, she should text Finn so they could discuss this development.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact. I know way too much about cults. Flirty fishing is a gross gross practice by a Christian-based cult called the Children of God, now known as Family International where attractive women were encouraged to sleep with people to bring them to Jesus???? 
> 
> Anyways I hope you appreciate Ransolm for the champion he is, despite his privilege and general dumbness. I love him a bit. (If you haven't read Claudia Gray's Star Wars: Bloodline go read it! It's actual canon material about all our faves).
> 
> Comments and kudos and maybe Kylo will rock up shirtless to the coffee shop next time. (He will not.)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo don't have a lot to talk about today, so the conversation turns to more personal matters.

‘Right, so basically not much to report?’ Rey cocked her head to one side and fixed Kylo with an unreadable gaze. ‘Why bother coming?’ 

 

Kylo shrugged. ‘It’s a standing arrangement. If I cancelled you’d assume something sinister was happening, which is the opposite of what’s happening.’ He returned her gaze coolly, but frowned when she smirked. ‘What?’

 

‘Are you implying that normally there would be something sinister going on?’ She dipped her finger in the foam at the top of her drink, running it around the edge of the cup before lifting it to her mouth and sucking it off. Kylo leaned forward, resting his chin on his closed fist, dark hair framing an enigmatic expression. 

 

‘You seem to be inferring that something sinister would be happening.’ He almost purred, and Rey shivered, breaking eye contact. 

 

‘Well?’ she demanded, leaning back and putting some distance between them, ‘Is there?’ Kylo just raised an eyebrow, a lazy smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. There was something captivating about his lips - woah, wait what? Not an appropriate workplace thought. Or an appropriate thought at all about a key figure in the cult she was investigating. She willed herself to maintain her accusing gaze, jaw set in a defiant line. Kylo glanced down, breaking the spell. 

 

‘I thought we began this conversation by establishing that there wasn’t.’ He told her mildly, lifting the glass of water to his lips and taking a sip, the condensation on the glass leaving drops of water on his gloves when he released it. How did he not overheat in gloves and all that black? The gloves made sense, she supposed, if he was trying to avoid leaving prints on anything which she assumed was their purpose. Establishing a pattern of always wearing them made them seem less suspicious, but the gloves, the black shirt and trousers and the black zip-up jacket just seemed stifling and far too hot. Of course Rey was wearing a scarf despite the sunshine, but that was different. She had grown up in the desert, this was cold by her standards. Maybe he had grown up in the desert too. She could add that to her list of speculation that was not strictly case related - that was, if she went by Leia’s definition which seemed to exclude any reference to Kylo’s former life, despite the fact that that would actually be useful. Most members of the Order who lived on site had been born there at this point, so it would be helpful to see what had driven Ben to become Kylo. She folded her arms and sat back, trying to puzzle him out. After a moment she spoke. 

 

‘Ok. So nothing sinister’s going on right now, I’m glad we’ve established that. So I’m going to use this session to check in with you personally, nothing to do with the Order or what Snoke wants you to say ok?’ She was blunt, as always. It felt better to be upfront about her intentions; based on his response to the fairly basic question ‘how are you’ in their previous meeting she figured she should let him know where she saw their conversation going. Kylo frowned.

 

‘I can’t divorce my personal well being from the Order.’ He told her, running his thumb across his lower lip pensively. ‘Or Snoke I suppose. I don’t have much going on outside of it.’ The corner of his lip quirked in something close to a smile for a moment before his face set back to a neutral mask and his tone became business-like.  ‘You’re welcome to ask what you will, but I won’t guarantee a response.’ Rey smiled, her eyes twinkling with suppressed laughter at his aloof air.. He would answer, she always got something even if it wasn’t what she wanted or expected. 

 

‘That’s fair. The same goes for you, this isn’t an interrogation.’ Kylo scoffed, of course he did, and Rey rolled her eyes at him. ‘I’ll be nice if you will,’ she challenged and he raised an eyebrow.

 

‘I’ll try.’ He intoned, and Rey was fairly certain he wouldn’t. She still struggled to reconcile the man who met her every week to discuss minutiae with the stories she had heard; Snoke’s enforcer, a man who had silenced dissent within their organisation and continued to lurk in the background of any official communication or event, a walking threat. Here he just seemed awkward and sad, despite his facade. He had arrived first today, and she had found him hunched, staring at his glass of water as though it held the answers to all of life’s mysteries. He had ordered tea for her, despite knowing Resist would pay for anything either of them wanted, and a slice of the fruit loaf she had eaten once when she had skipped breakfast. She had been touched to note that he remembered the way she drank her tea; strong, bag out before the milk goes in - it made a difference and she could taste immediately that he had done it properly. She checked to make sure her theory held water (or tea in this case) and he confirmed it, narrowing his eyes in amusement as she pumped her fist in a small gesture of victory over Poe, who despite his absence was still thoroughly defeated in their ongoing feud about her stupid tea drinking rules.

 

‘Right, an exchange then - you get a question, I get a question. That seems fair,’ Kylo nodded and Rey took it as a cue to proceed. What to ask though? He would rebut or simply ignore any queries about how he was, and she could work that out anyway. Irritated and miserable were the standard, though he would never admit it. She’d try to work out his background, she decided. ‘When did you meet Snoke? Was it soon after you joined the Order or did you have to-’ 

 

‘Before.’ He interrupted her, speaking with a strange intensity. ‘I don’t remember when I met him, I was young. He knew my - ‘ He looked away, falling silent for a second, but continued. ‘He knew my Uncle.’ Rey saw something flash in his eyes as he mentioned his relative and she stored it away in her head. She didn’t have her notebook out for this, it would be rude and besides, he was flighty enough about anything personal without her intensifying the situation. 

 

‘So you don’t remember?’ She asked softly, fighting to keep pity from her tone. For all she knew his life had been awful. Family didn’t always treat kids the way they should, she knew that. Snoke could have helped; a twisted version of a fairy godmother stealing him away from the people causing him pain. It seemed unlikely, but she would keep an open mind for now. Kylo shook his head and cleared his throat. 

 

‘My turn. How old were you when you lost your parents?’ Rey froze. He shouldn’t know that. There was no way for him to know it without having researched her. Maybe he had, she couldn’t exactly object - she was researching him too. 

 

‘How do you-’ Kylo shrugged.

 

‘Just a guess. You seem fixated with family, you bring it up a lot despite how clear I’ve been about wanting to discuss them -it.’ his lip twitched in irritation at his error. Rey nodded. She supposed she was. She’d seen a lot of families in her time, and now finally felt she was building one of her own. She was fascinated by them. 

 

‘Yeah, I suppose. It’s a big question for a Tuesday morning.’ She smiled at him sadly, but held up a hand when he went to speak. ‘I’ll answer. Just give me a minute.’ She thought for a second about how wise it was to share her past with someone who made no secret of trying to pull her into his cult. He had been honest with her though.

 

‘They didn’t die. I don’t think, anyway.’ She spoke haltingly to begin with, but picked up speed. ‘They left me with a friend for a few days and that was twelve years ago. I don’t know what happened, but I haven’t seen them since.’ She shrugged. ‘I guess something happened.’ When she looked up at Kylo she was surprised to see her pain reflected in his eyes. He was silent for a moment, and when he spoke she heard his voice crack slightly.

 

‘I’m sorry.’ He swallowed. ‘That shouldn’t happen - to anyone.’ His voice was quiet but sincere and Rey felt herself shiver a little at the intensity of his gaze. She looked down for a second. She didn’t often let herself dwell on them; she knew something had happened. One day she’d find out what and it would make sense. For now she’d wait. She shook herself out of it.

 

‘Right.’ She didn’t want his empathy to go unacknowledged, but this was too much. ‘My turn.’  He turned his hand so that his palm faced out rather than down, gesturing for her to continue. ‘You won’t talk about your parents - that’s a statement not a question -’ she clarified quickly as she saw him open his mouth to respond. She wouldn’t let him get away with one word answers on a technicality, she was going to think this through carefully. ‘ - or your Uncle I assume - another statement.’ Kylo frowned at her and she sensed she was getting close to his breaking point. ‘Ok… so basically if I want to know about you I have to ask about Snoke.’ His frown slipped, and he raised an eyebrow.

 

‘That would appear to be the case.’ He drawled, and Rey glared but there was a hint of relief that he was still engaging with her; He was well within his rights to just leave right now. ‘Right. You don’t remember meeting him, what’s your first-’ She stopped as she saw him freeze, staring past her out of the glass front of the coffee shop they met in. 

 

‘I have to go.’ He told her suddenly, and with that he stood and strode swiftly out of the shop. She followed quickly after him, seeing nothing outside that could provoke that response. She looked after Ben who was moving down the street quickly, passing through the crowd like a shark passes through a shoal of fish, people moving quickly out his way, creating a clear path and allowing him to swiftly disappear around a corner. She clucked her tongue and headed back into the shop where her bag still sat beside a table. She sat down again and opened her notebook to describe the abrupt end to today’s encounter, but was soon distracted as a shadow fell over her chair. 

 

Her landlord pulled the chair opposite out and sat down. He was forcing a smile but his eyes were sad and he seemed tired - it wasn’t unusual for him to be like this, false cheer hiding some deep melancholy, but today the facade seemed to be broken in places, the sadness spilling through like light round the corners of a firmly closed door. She smiled at him, hoping her warmth would bring him comfort in whatever he was struggling with. ‘Hey Han.’ 

 

‘Rey,’ he greeted her gruffly, and though his questions were innocuous there was an urgency behind them that she couldn’t source. ‘I thought I saw you in here. Were you with someone? A date, or-’

 

Rey scoffed. Yeah. A date, sure. She swiftly disillusioned him, ‘Work. I’m meeting with him weekly to discuss a case right now.’ Han nodded, but Rey could see he was holding himself back. He knew what she did, of course. He had been married to Leia, and they still got on well - he had been a part of Resist before he and Leia split. ‘You can ask what you want. I might not answer.’ She found herself paraphrasing Kylo’s words from earlier. 

 

‘You’re ok, kid. I won’t pry, I know all about your confidentiality rules. You can tell Leia later and I’ll get it out of her.’ He winked and once again Rey found herself baffled by her boss’s relationship - She knew for a fact they were divorced, but they still seemed very much a couple. She supposed as long as they were happy with whatever arrangement they had it was none of her business, but it still fascinated her. She looked at her fingers pensively for a moment before Han broke her from her reverie, putting his hand on the table and starting to get up. ‘Anyway, I should go. Just wanted to come say hi, so… Hi, I guess.’  Rey laughed.

 

‘Hi yourself.’ She stood too, picking up her bag before something occurred to her.  ‘Oh did you get-’ She stopped as Han lifted a bag and handed it over. 

 

‘Everything you’ll need is in there. Let me know if you need a hand, no change to our contract. Plumbing’s a tricky one, I don’t want you destroying my property.’ Rey shook her head. She’d manage, and she knew he’d trust her if she said she could. She happily accepted the reduction on her rent for doing her own maintenance, and accepting his help felt like charity. She didn’t take charity. She did take the bag.

 

‘Thanks. I’ll call if it’s too much and you can come and rig up some ridiculous, against code matrix of pipes and wires.’ Han laughed easily, but the heaviness in his eyes and shoulders didn’t shift. Something was off, but it wasn’t her job to investigate. She would stick with Kylo, and let Han work out whatever it was that was bothering him himself.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys Kylo is such a weirdo. Who is he even running from? What's up with Han? Why did he and Leia split up anyways? What a mystery huh. No one could ever guess the twist here. 
> 
> I'm trying to stay 2 chapters ahead with my writing, and I have a whole day free on Monday so I should be able to update at least weekly if not more frequently until we're done. Aaaand I'm actually editing this as I go along. That's progress folks.
> 
> Comments make my day and kudos are also a lovely thing to receive <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose and Paige come round! Hijinks ensue.

‘Thanks so much,’ Rey repeated as she handed Rose the steaming mug of coffee. She was pleased to have a chance to use the battered old coffee machine she had fixed up as a challenge to herself; she didn’t really drink coffee, it made her too jittery, but she enjoyed being able to make a nice mug for friends when they visited. The foam at the top stuck to Rose’s lip when she took a sip and she raised an arm to wipe it, leaving a faint oily mark in its place. Paige spluttered out a laugh behind her. ‘Great moustache Rose. Really good look on you.’ Rose stuck her tongue out at her sister, but didn’t bother wiping her lip. She was still elbow deep in the cavity below the bathtub, fiddling around with the pipes that Rey had tried and failed to fix earlier that day. 

‘I mean it Rose, thanks so much. Take whatever you want as payment, I can replace things.’ Rose shot her a strange look.

‘We’re friends Rey, this is fine. I like doing this stuff anyway. Pipes make a lot more sense than people, it’s relaxing.’ Paige wiggled her eyebrows at Rey and both women laughed again. Rose’s constant claims that she was no good with people had become something of an inside joke in the office where they worked. More specifically, the office where Rose and Paige worked in victim support, helping broken troubled souls all day everyday.

‘So why haven’t you quit to become a plumber?’ Rey asked, genuinely curious about how Rose even had this skill. Rose shrugged her free shoulder, before extending that arm and waggling her fingers expectantly. Paige leant down from where she had been leaning against the radiator and handed her sister the wrench that lay just out of her reach.

‘I like helping people I guess. More than I like groping around your pipes.’ The three were silent for a second in the wake of Rose’s frankly ridiculous unintended innuendo before Paige erupted into great heaving waves of laughter. Rey followed shortly after, infected by Paige’s mirth and soon the two were creased on the floor, stomachs hurting and eyes watering as they made increasingly crude plumbing based jokes. Rose chuckled good naturedly at their antics, but Rey could see she was still slightly embarrassed by her words. She patted the shorter woman on the back, kneeling next to her. ‘Don’t worry about it Rose. I’d let you fiddle with my pipes anytime.’ And with that she and Paige were off again, but this time Rose joined them.

‘You guys have a terrible knowledge of plumbing.’ She told them. ‘There are far better terms if you’re trying to be filthy.’ She started to list terms, but Paige covered her ears. 

‘I am not listening to this!’ She shouted over the ceaseless rhythm of Rose’s favourite dirty sounding pieces of equipment. ‘You are my baby sister! You shouldn’t know why the words ‘rim-hole’  and ‘O-Ring’ are funny.’ 

Rey smirked as Rose began to object and remind her sister that she was, in fact, 26 which was old enough to know about such things, and that Paige was only 3 years older than her anyway so she could just shut up. She loved having the Tico sisters over at her place. It filled the otherwise quiet apartment with laughter and the kind of family ties she hoped she would one day experience. When Rose was finished fixing the leak that was apparently creating a damp spot in the ceiling below, the three sat down to watch a film and opened a bottle of wine. The evening passed as a happy glow filled with laughter and false outrage, and it was exactly what Rey needed. She had been dwelling on work too much, and Poe had been monopolising Finn so she had been lonely. She knew she would never be as close to either sister as they were to each other, but they were good friends and she loved having them around. She had endless admiration for their work with people who had survived; she looked forward to handing Kylo’s case on to them at some point in the far distant future when she had worn them down.

The evening was delightful, but it’s effects meant that she was less than prepared for Leia’s grim expression as she beckoned her into the office at the end of the hall. The sign on the door read ‘Luke and Leia Skywalker, founders.’ but Rey had never met Luke; apparently there was a time when he and Leia shared a desk. Not so much anymore. Leia had mentioned trying to get in touch with him once or twice, but he had not been into the office in years. Rey took a breath, hoping her painkillers would kick in soon and walked into the office. It was bright in there, and decorated in white and gold. The window seemed to always be open, and today it let in a cool breeze that soothed Rey’s fuzzy head, gentle against the skin of her cheeks. She let it wash over her as she sank into one of the comfortable chairs in the corner of the office. She knew Leia preferred to have discussions here rather than over a desk. Today however Leia deviated from the norm, sitting behind her desk and dragging over a chair so that Rey could sit beside her and see the computer screen. ‘I spotted this in a local paper,’ the older woman began, and Rey’s already paler than usual contenance drained. 

‘Hux for mayor.’ She read aloud, struck by the stark black and red symbol of the Order displayed so prominently in the half page advert. It was ridiculous. What was Snoke up to? ‘That’s ridiculous.’ She told Leia and the older woman shrugged. 

‘You said they wanted to expand but couldn’t get planning permission. This is how they get planning permission, and anything else they want, through legal means. It’s a sensible move if you’re a megalomaniac.’ Beside her, Rey buried her face in her hands. 

‘I suppose it is.’  She spoke through her palms, her voice muffled and despairing for a moment. Why hadn’t Kylo mentioned this? She usually knew what Snoke was planning well before anything made it into the news; the ‘Supreme Leader’ must have wanted this kept private. ‘They already have a system in place to win the seats they need to control the council.’ She groaned. ‘There’s no other reason for Kylo to have kept this from me - he’s usually weirdly open about things.’ Leia pursed her lips for a moment, processing before speaking again, something of the same tiredness she had seen in Han a few days ago colouring her expression.

‘Ok. Do some digging then. I’ll leave the case in your hands for now, but the moment you feel it’s too much you tell me. It’s just a job, you don’t need to get in over your head.’ Rey swallowed and nodded. She was fairly sure she was already in over her head; aside from the time she had spent decompressing with Paige and Rose last night she had done little but think about Kylo, speculating about who he could be, why he was so cagey about his family, what his hands look like under those gloves - and that’s where she stopped herself. She wondered if she should tell Leia about the thoughts that went beyond professional curiosity and duty of care, but she assured herself she shouldn’t; Leia would take her off the case, and Kylo had made it clear he wouldn’t speak to anyone else so they’d be without an inside link to the Order. She couldn’t let that happen.

‘I’m ok. I’ll see if I can move my meeting up with Kylo - I’m sure he’ll be looking forward to gloating about this - and I’ll go down to city hall to see which other Order members are running for positions on the council. We still have a few weeks before the election, there must be some foul play we can cite to stop them.’ Leia turned back to her computer screen, and seemed to be scanning through the advert for any further clues. Rey doubted she would find much; there wasn’t much in it to encourage people to vote for Snoke’s chosen candidate, and while Hus had had some interaction with the public as Snoke’s media spokesperson, he was hardly a popular or beloved member of the community. This was a message. Rey wouldn’t be surprised if this was the only ad she saw for his campaign, it having served its purpose now that she and Leia had seen it. 

She left the office, already writing a todo list in her head, stopping by the sink in the corner to grab some water for her plants. She poured the water carefully from the mug into the pots, careful not to spill any on the mess of papers and scribbled notes that covered every conceivable part of her small work station. Once she was happy her plants were cared for, she began to grab handfuls of paper and scan them, quickly dividing them into two piles; relevant to the Order’s power grab, and not relevant right now. Ransolm wandered past, carrying a carefully divided folder and Rey just knew if she looked inside, each page would be held in a poly-pocket, safe from spills or damage, covered in Ransolm’s ridiculously neat writing. Ugh. He glanced over and chuckled to himself. ‘Shut up.’ Rey told him, not looking up as she continued to divide her papers into piles. She had three now; Relevant to the power grab; relevant to the case in general but not to the power grab; and random doodles and notes she had left herself that bore no relevance to anything and should go in the recycling. 

‘I’ll happily offer my assistance once I’ve given this to Leia,’ he offered and Rey felt bad for being annoyed with him. He was a good guy, just overly stuffy and more organised than anyone had any right to be. It was technically his day off; he had probably only popped in to deliver the file - he certainly didn’t have to stay. Ordinarily Rey would have turned him - and anyone else who offered to help her - away, but she was feeling overwhelmed with this new development.  

‘If it’s not a hassle for you it’d be amazing.’ She told him as she continued to sift through papers. He was true to his word, and forty minutes later she had a clear desk and two brand new folders containing everything she might need in the case, organised by content and then by date and divided by coloured plastic which Ransolm had labelled to make her life even easier. He had somehow materialised a wicker basket for her to store anything else she needed to keep on her desk. Her profuse thanks had been met by hands held up coolly and a snide comment about him no longer having to look at her pit of a workstation. Rey had scowled good naturedly at him and promised to get him a coffee sometime before he left, and she opened the file. She had already marked a few spots she needed to take another look at with the sticky notes she’d found in the stationary cupboard, so she got to work. She would get to the bottom of this. She got out her phone to text Kylo and move their meeting. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked this chapter. I just wanted some happy fun times before we get real sad in the rest of this story. Also tf are the Order up to? Probably trying to help the community and bring everyone together. They're nice guys I heard.
> 
> Comments and kudos, as always, are appreciated. 
> 
> Come see me on tumblr!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey confronts Kylo about Snoke's coup.

Rey clenched her fists under the desk, trying to ignore the smug look on Kylo’s face. ‘So this is what you meant by ‘nothing sinister’?’ She asked through gritted teeth, and he inclined his head slightly. 

 

‘I don’t see how engaging with the democratic system could be seen as sinister, Rey. Unless of course you’re more in favour of a dictatorship?’ He was barely suppressing a smile, and Rey was very close to punching him in his stupid face. 

 

‘Hm. Well I want answers today, Ren. No more bullshit.’ She was blunt with him, and she saw her seriousness register as his eyes flicked away in annoyance.

 

‘I’ll tell you what I want to tell you. I think you’re forgetting who needs these meetings,’ he muttered, and an idea occurred to Rey. Need was a strange word to choose, and Kylo’s jaw was tighter than she had seen it as he uttered the threat. She decided to test her theory.

 

‘Ok. Consider our professional relationship over.’ She started to pack up her things and stood, hoping against hope that she was right and she hadn’t just ruined this whole operation by pissing him off. He was pissed off alright; he rose too, towering over her, and she felt the leather of his glove on her wrist, his fingers gripping solidly beneath the warm leather. 

‘Stop.’ Rey turned a steely gaze on him, refusing to be intimidated. His grip remained firm. She was fairly certain if she tried to pull away he would stop her. She grinned.

 

‘I thought I was the one who needed these meetings, Kylo.’ she needled gently and she felt his grip loosen. He cleared his throat, trying to hide his surprise at his own actions.

 

‘I have messages to relay. You can’t go until I’ve told you what I need to or-’ he grimaced and Rey frowned.

 

‘Or?’

 

‘Or the Supreme Leader will be displeased.’ He stated, and she thought she saw a twitch in his cheek, just below his eye. She sat and pulled out her notebook, quickly jotting down the particulars of that exchange. Kylo followed suit, sitting opposite her again and staring at his hands. He looked… embarrassed? There was definitely a glimmer of shame in his expression. Rey sighed.

 

‘Ok, I’m not leaving. But I do still want answers - you can say your piece but I get 3 questions today. No running away from me this time.’ Kylo looked up again, surprised.

 

‘I wasn’t running from you,’ He told her. ‘I needed to-’ His eye definitely twitched this time, and Rey gave him a moment to formulate the next sentence. She watched him, fascinated, as he visibly fought to regain control.- ‘I saw someone I used to know. I’m not supposed to have any contact with my life before the Order.’ He paused for a moment before continuing, ‘The Supreme Leader has made it clear in the past that our organisation needs room to grow. The land we currently own has plenty of space to build living space, but for some reason we can’t get permission to build. Hux is -’ Rey raised an eyebrow as Kylo’s tone became slightly strangled, and she saw his jaw clench, ‘he’s a good public speaker, and we don’t intend any harm to the community. We just need permission to build.’ He stated as though taking over city council was perfectly reasonable as a response to a failed planning application. Rey groaned. The application had failed in no small part because of Leia’s influence coupled with Rey’s insistence that the Order should not be allowed to expand. That she still believed, but she hadn’t expected their approach to solving the problem to be so aggressive. She believed that Kylo sincerely thought this was all it was, but the prospect worried her more than she would admit in front of the dark haired acolyte. She was certain there was a deeper plan. She put her head on one side, looking up at him through her lashes.

 

‘If I can get you that permission, would Hux drop out?’ She asked, genuinely curious to see what his answer would be, while also testing his faith in the Supreme Leader. She saw him falter, thrown off by her question.

 

‘That’s your first question,’ he murmured, and she nodded. She hadn’t thought of it that way, but fair was fair. She waited for him to collect his thoughts again, her lips forming an encouraging smile. This didn’t seem to help; Kylo froze when she smiled and she looked away instead, hoping this would help him to say what he was thinking. When he spoke it was clear he was choosing his words carefully.

 

‘I’m sure that your efforts would be appreciated. I think that to drop out now that we’ve publicised it would be unwise.’ He swallowed and took a long drink of his water. Rey wasn’t satisfied with that though, and she pressed further.

 

‘Unwise how?’ He looked up at her, wide eyed, and she felt another wave of pity for him wash over her. This was difficult for him, speaking about the Order’s intentions without Snoke’s words to rely on. She pressed her lips together for a moment before deciding to offer him a reprieve. He clearly didn’t know Snoke’s plan, and pressing it was just building up the walls she had been working so hard to breakdown. ‘I suppose it would look strange - like the Order wasn’t looking out for the good of the community.’ She offered, and Kylo shot her a quizzical look.

 

‘Something like that.’ He agreed, a wry smile tugging at the corners of his lips. ‘That’s two questions.’ 

 

‘I answered that one. It’s still two,’ she decided to push her luck. Why not? He was usually fairly amenable to her whims, regardless of his reputation. Just as she thought, he raised an eyebrow, but didn’t object.

 

‘Ok, last week I was asking you about Snoke, and how you knew him,’ she thought aloud, flicking through her notes. Kylo waited patiently, attempting to appear casual as he tried to read her notes upside down. She turned the book around and dropped it on the table in front of him, inviting him to continue reading. This book contained nothing but detailed notes of what passed between them, as well as some matter of fact descriptions of his body language and behaviour. He picked it up and scanned through it, grimacing occasionally. 

 

‘You wanted to know about my first memory of the Supreme Leader, because I don’t remember when we first met.’ He handed the book back to her, apparently no longer interested now she had given him permission to peruse it. She nodded and he continued. ‘I don’t know. I remember him being around while I was growing up. He listened to me.’ Kylo shrugged, ‘He was guiding me even then, I suppose. And he was right,’ the intensity had returned to his voice, and Rey found herself uncomfortable in the face of his fervent belief. Nevertheless she found herself drawn into whatever he story he was telling.

 

‘Right about what?’ her tone was hushed and sincere. Something must have happened to drive him to Snoke’s bizarre sect - she was determined to find out what. Kylo furrowed his brow.

 

‘Everything. Life. It’s- There has to be some purpose. Something to strive for. That’s what he gives me - us - The Order. Purpose.’ Rey frowned as he finished his  statement. What purpose? As far as she could see, Snoke was using his followers as free labour, as he sold his ascetic retreats to gullible people who wanted to detox from the stresses of life for a week or so. She felt sorry for Kylo, but she could not bring herself to accept that there was any greater purpose for Snoke than sitting in power and collecting money.

 

‘What purpose, though? What’s the plan?’ Kylo shook his head. 

 

‘You’ve had your questions for today,’ he was still on edge, and Rey wondered how much time he dedicated to thinking about why he followed Snoke. The questions seemed to have unsettled him more than she would expect. She began to pack her things up again, but Kylo didn’t move. She stopped and looked across at him. 

 

‘Was there something else? I have time.’ He swallowed again and she looked away, giving him space to voice his thoughts.

 

‘Can we just stay another few minutes?’ he asked, and Rey was surprised by the pleading edge to his tone. She nodded.

 

‘Sure. Anything you wanted to talk about?’ He shook his head. 

 

‘I just need to - I can’t go back in this mindset.’ He looked strained and tired all of a sudden, but managed to plaster on a wry smile. ‘You’re messing with my head,’ he told her softly and she grinned at him.

 

‘That’s my job,’ she downed the rest of her tea. It was cold now, but she didn’t mind too much. She was always leaving things to go cold - when she was focussed on a task that was what she was doing - no time for drinking tea. 

 

‘Hm,’ Kylo grunted, looking away from her again. Rey bit her tongue for a minute, but in the end couldn’t fight the question that was lurking at the tip of her tongue, put there by the fear she thought she saw behind Kylo’s eyes.

 

‘Would he hurt you?’ She asked quietly, very aware that they were in a public place. ‘If he knew you were having doubt-’

 

‘Everyone has doubts.’ Kylo snapped back suddenly, and she knew she had pushed too far again. ‘That’s normal. The Supreme Leader doesn’t do anything that isn’t for the good of the Order and its members.’ He pushed back from the table suddenly, heads turning at the scrape of his chair, the clatter as it fell to the ground, and his heavy footfalls as he strode away from her. Running again. She shook her head to herself as she walked round to lift his chair and pulled out her notebook again. Writing his answer left a sour taste in her mouth. 

 

It wasn’t a denial. 

 

‘Fuck.’ She swore under her breath. This was always supposed to be an easy case; her first solo adventure. Maybe she did need more of Leia’s help than she was getting. She sighed and packed up her things, dropping a tip in the mug on the counter as she left the coffee shop; a small apology for the disruption she had brought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uggggh I am so busy right now. I might not be able to update much, but we should still get a chapter a week because I'm a bit ahead. I'mma try and write but also I'm driving miles and miles for a funeral (family obligation I'm fine) and then we're going on a school trip on Thursday which is lots of work too. 
> 
> Anyways. Keep my spirits up by sending comments and kudos so I can ignore real life?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han and Leia interact! Rey is baffled by their relationship.

When she got back to the office she heard shouting. She glanced over to Rose’s desk, but it was empty, as was Paige’s. The only person she saw in the office was Ransolm, who leant back in his office chair, one leg crossed over the other as he read through a file and studiously ignored the racket coming from Leia’s office. He glanced up when Rey approached, before placing his feet on the ground again and sitting straight in the chair, tucking a post-it note into the folder and closing it on his desk. ‘Han.’ He mouthed in response to Rey’s questioning eyebrow. That was… odd. She knew they had rowed a lot while they had been married - Amalyn, a retired employee who still stopped by to help out every once in a while, had regaled the new Resist workers with tales of the old guard - the stupid hijinks and blazing rows that had filled these small rooms. Everything was more professional now, though the office was still a happy place, and Rey wondered what it would have been like to work with Leia, Han and Luke all together. She was still yet to even meet the absent cofounder of the charity. Rey grabbed the pile of post-its and scribbled a note to Ransolm, not wanting Leia to overhear their conversation even as she chastised her ex-husband behind the closed door. 

 

_ How long have they been fighting?  _ Ransolm took the hastily scrawled note and grabbed his ostentatious fountain pen, writing an elegant response.

 

_ Han arrived just before you. Said ‘I saw him.’ to Leia and she dragged him into their office. It seems personal. I’m staying out of it.  _ He pushed the note back to Rey and she nodded. That was fair. It really wasn’t any of her business, but damn if the Skywalker family wasn’t fascinating. She knew the foundation had been established using money inherited from Anakin Skywalker, whose past was hardly a secret - it had been all over the news when his doomsday cult had erupted into chaos, and the fallout from that had been alarming. Leia’s reputation and political position had been compromised by the revelation that he was her birth father, and Luke had reportedly already been working with another charity to infiltrate and rescue as many members of the Empire as he could. He had been there when his father had died, or so the rumours said. She would be very interested to meet him, but she knew no one had seen or heard from him for years. She made her way over to her desk, which sat just yards from Leia’s office door, and grabbed her headphones. Han and Leia’s voices were clear from where she sat, and while she searched for music she heard snatches of their conversation.

 

‘Let me talk to him. I can help. You weren’t home, you don’t know what he-’

‘You’re being ridiculous. The last time you saw him he was what? 10 years old? He changed, Han. He changed a lot, and you weren’t around-’

 

‘And who’s fault was that? Fuck, Leia, you know as well as I do that that was not what I wanted. I didn’t even get to say-’

 

Rey put her headphones in. This was nothing to do with her, and in all honesty the fighting was putting her on edge. She had heard enough of that growing up when she had been placed with families that were already broken and had no room in their hearts for another child. Especially one with the behaviour issues she had brought with her; hoarding food, refusing to listen to instructions, constantly running away. She had been a handful, she knew that. Still, the fighting was not something she wanted to listen to, and in her experience it was something that would go on for a long time yet. She was surprised, then, when the older couple left the office fifteen minutes later, hand in hand and laughing quietly with each other. Spotting Rey, Han murmured something to his ex-wife and headed over. Rey pulled out her headphones and smiled at him.

 

‘Hey kid, how’d your plumbing adventure go? Have you managed to destroy my flat yet?’  Rey grinned at him, the relief at Han and Leia’s apparent ability to make up after their fight washing over her and making her strangely giddy.

 

‘Not yet.’ She didn’t mention that she had let Rose do the work. She figured Rose had explained it well enough that she could do it the next time so there was no need to admit her failure to Han. ‘Let me at the electrics next,’ she continued, ‘I’m sure I can do some real damage there.’ Han grinned back and pushed her shoulder. 

 

‘You probably don’t want to look at the mess I made of the electrics. It’s not pretty,’ he grimaced, before his smile returned. ‘Works hard though -’ there was a mischevious twinkle in his eye -’kind of like my-’

 

‘I would end that sentence there if you want to leave this office with all of your appendages in tact.’ Leia walked up beside him and placed a threatening hand on his shoulder. Han turned and shot her a winning smile.

 

‘Kind of like myself, I was going to say. You’re pretty enough for the both of us.’ Leia scowled, but it was good natured.

 

‘Your charm won’t work on me, Solo. I’ve built up a tolerance.’ Han snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her into  kiss. Rey looked away, not wanting to intrude. Behind her, she heard Han murmur.

 

‘I’ll get past your defences, princess. I’m like a virus - I’ll just change so you can’t fight me off.’ She heard Leia chuckle, low and quiet.

 

‘You haven’t changed a bit, you dumb cowboy. Still the same idiot who gave me a ride all those years ago.’ Rey cleared her throat and the two broke apart, both grinning like embarrassed teenagers.

‘Sorry, Rey. I’ve told him this is a workplace and he shouldn’t just pop in to flirt, but he doesn’t listen,’ Leia glossed over the first part of Han’s visit smoothly and Rey nodded. 

 

‘The flirting’s fine, but go do it somewhere else. I have to write up my meeting.’ Leia glanced over to where Han now stood, waiting for her to finish speaking with Rey, before looking back to Rey. 

 

‘Of course, you should do that while the details are fresh. Send me a copy when you’re finished and I’ll look through.’ She walked from Rey’s desk back to where Hand stood and took his arm, the two of them leaving the office in search of lunch. Rey put her headphones back in and began to write up her notes. The day passed quickly, and she managed to catch a few moments with Leia after she had sent the file. The woman had seemed concerned, but not unduly by her suspicions that Snoke could be physically abusing his followers. ‘From our research, it seems that Snoke only has direct contact with a few people, all of them young men who are likely more physically fit than him. The bigger threat within the Order is Kylo himself,’ she told Rey, a sudden tiredness coming into her words. ‘He’s dangerous Rey. He hasn’t done anything outside of the cult so we only have the rumours, but I believe them. He’s cooperating with you for now because Snoke wants him to. I don’t know what happens when that changes, so you need to be careful Rey had made some noncommittal comment. She had seen flashes of Kylo’s rage, and she was happy to admit that he was massively unstable, but there was something deeper at work. She didn’t see the monster that was described in the rumours Finn had relayed to them when he had first left the Order, and she knew he had shared more than what Snoke had prepped him to. There was more between them than either of their bosses thought. 

 

She went home that night exhausted, but was happy to see Finn and Poe on her sofa chatting enthusiastically. The content of their chat was less welcome, and she was quick to challenge them on it. ‘Hey! This is my flat. Nobody will be decorating it, thank you very much.’ The men looked up at her and Poe stood to give her a hug. Finn meanwhile still technically lived with her, and didn’t stand on ceremony, instead greeting Rey with a quick smile before pulling out his phone as Poe launched into conversation.

 

‘Hi Rey, how’s it going? Finn tells me you’re still meeting with our friend from the Order?’ Rey quirked her eyebrow, surprised that Poe had brought up Kylo.

 

‘Yeah, but I’ve managed to do it without anyone starting fist fights so far.’  Poe cocked his head to one side.

 

‘Touche,’ he smirked. ‘That asshole hurt Finn, and then mocked me about it. I wasn’t going to play nice.’ At that Finn put his phone back in his pocket and frown up at his partner. 

 

‘We’ve talked about that Poe. He’s a dick, doesn’t mean you have to be one.’ Finn groaned, walking over to where Poe stood and leaning on him heavily in a gesture that Rey chose to interpret as affectionate, but that could just as easily have been malicious. ‘I never met the guy anyway, I just heard about some of the shit he was responsible for.’ 

 

Poe shoved Finn into a less inconvenient position and slipped his arm around the other man’s race. ‘Well his cult hurt you. All I know is you got hurt and he was around.’ 

 

‘So you decided to engage in police brutality and get suspended for a month?’ Finn asked, and Rey knew this was a conversation they had had many times. Poe bristled at the accustion and kicked his toe against the ground. Rey winced slightly as he scuffed the exposed floorboards she had worked so hard to uncover and make presentable, which he noticed and soon stopped.

 

‘Hey. It took me off your case right? If I hadn’t punched him, we wouldn’t be together. Let’s leave it at that.’ Rey smirked as Finn rolled his eyes. Poe cheated at arguments - it was a fact they both knew and mostly accepted in exchange for a quiet life. 

 

‘And on that note, we have something we need to tell you,’ Finn and Poe smiled at each other, and Rey found her spirits lifted at the affection with which her friends viewed each other. 

 

‘Oh?’ She was fairly sure she knew. It had been coming for a while now; it had been eighteen months since they had started dating, and the two barely spent any time apart. When Finn announced

 

‘I’m moving into Poe’s place,’ she simply nodded and wandered past the counter that enclosed the small kitchen area in her living space, flicking on the kettle. It was nice. It was a good thing. Finn and poe loved each other, of course he was moving out and in with Poe. That made sense. Still, she felt a pang of loss in the pit of her stomach. It had been nice having someone to come home to, even if it had become a rare thing lately. Him moving out meant that it went from an ‘occasionally’ to a ‘never.’ Now she would have to invite him over again - she’d have her own space back, but she’d be alone again. It was a bitter-sweet moment, and to celebrate she made herself a cup of lemon and ginger tea. This was a good blend; the ginger burned as she swallowed and leant just enough sweetness to make the lemon drinkable. She headed back over to the sofa, where Finn and Poe sat with their coffees. They chatted for a while, but Rey sent them away. Beebee would need feeding anyway, she reasoned, and she wanted space to be sad about this without making Finn feel bad. She spent a while on her bed, messing around on her phone before she got a text. Kylo. She sat up quickly. He didn’t text, as a rule; just turned up when she asked him to, maybe sent a one or two word response if she was changing plans, to confirm that he had accepted the message.

 

_ Meet me tomorrow? Same time and place. Urgent. _

 

She frowned at the collection of short phrases before typing a response.

_ Why? _

 

She knew Snoke looked at this phone. Hell, she was fairly sure Kylo could only access the phone at specified times, based on the times at which she received messages from him. This was not one of those times - something was going on. 

 

_ I’ll tell you then.  _

 

She shook her head. 

 

_ I have a lot of meetings tomorrow. Can it wait until the next day. _

 

She saw he was typing for a few minutes before she received his monosyllabic response.

 

_ No. _

 

She sent a message back quickly, figuring he was probably risking a lot to hold this conversation.

 

_ I’ll be there. _

 

She shut off her phone and placed it on the bed. It was a distraction, if nothing else, but she wondered if she really needed something else to worry about right now. She groaned and switched the light off, trying to get some sleep before whatever fresh complication Kylo would bring to her in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I survived this weekend. Han and Leia are very cute but also very dysfunctional. WHo could they be talking about? It's a real mystery.
> 
> Thank you so much to my commenters, my life is really busy and stressful right now and comments and kudos are a pleasant distraction.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Shit goes down in chapter 8 so get yourself prepared.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo have their emergency meeting. Rey learns a little more about the mysterious Supreme Leader (and a little more about Kylo)

‘Look,’ Kylo was clearly agitated, fingers drumming on the table as he spoke, ‘I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t have been using the phone then, I just-’ he swallowed, and Rey noticed faint bruising on his neck, eyes drawn by the movement of his adam’s apple, - ‘Just tell… tell your boss to be more careful. She’s looking into things that don’t concern her and it’s not-’ Rey fixed him with a cold stare, storing her observation to ponder at a later date.

 

‘That sounded a lot like a threat, Kylo,’ she told him bluntly, watching as his countenance somehow grew darker than it had been when he first entered the small coffee shop, his brow furrowing and anger flashing behind his eyes.

 

‘I am not threatening anyone,’ he told her, in a tone that could only be described as threatening. She raised an eyebrow and took a long sip of her drink. Hot chocolate today. Comfort food. She was snowed under with work, and still quietly mourning the loss of her friend and confidant as he moved in with his boyfriend. Now this. 

 

‘Can you tell me anything specific,’ she groaned, and Kylo shook his head. 

 

‘She should leave Rinrivin to the cops,’ was all the information she could get from him. She checked her watch.

 

‘I’ll let her know.’ Kylo sighed and relaxed visibly.

 

‘Thank you.’ He said quietly. Rey sighed and took another gulp of her hot chocolate, waiting silently to see if there were anymore vague concerns he wanted to impart. She didn’t know why he was interested in the rest of Resist - up until now he had made his disdain for the organisation clear. It was probably some trap, or misdirection. It could even be Snoke orchestrating the whole thing, though she didn’t know if Kylo could act that well. She didn’t have the energy or inclination today to press him about his personal life. She sat back, waiting for him to call their meeting to a close. He studied her face, apparently confused by her silence. ‘Are you ok?’ he asked eventually, surprising her as well as himself with the softness of his words. It was her turn to reach for carefully chosen words, but in the end she simply spoke openly. Kylo was someone completely separate from the rest of her life; telling him her worries didn’t seem like burdening him - what could he do with them anyway? She could just tell him and he would listen. That was enough.

 

‘My flatmate is moving out.’ She told him eventually. ‘It’s fine. We’re fine, I just-’

 

‘You were left before. People always leave.’ He stated, not accusing as such, instead perfectly articulating the cause of the familiar, persistent ache in her chest. ‘You’re scared to be alone again, like before. Like always.’ His gaze was intense and she found herself drawn into the dark pools of his eyes. 

 

‘Yes,’ she breathed, and found her pain mirrored back to her in his expression. Perhaps it was a burden for him. She turned away, breaking the spell. ‘It’s stupid. I’ll manage.’ Kylo inclined his head.

 

‘You will. You’re strong.’ When he spoke about her there was a certain wonder in his tone that made her stomach flutter. She grimaced. 

 

‘Right. Back to you, and the obvious bruises you’re wearing. Explain.’ She successfully pushed him back into his shell, and found herself almost relieved by the scowl she provoked.

 

‘It’s nothing.’ She shook her head.

 

‘It’s not. Did Snoke-’ It was Kylo’s turn to shake his head, violently, dark curls bouncing as he did. 

 

‘It’s not like that. It’s not a punishment, it’s- I could stop him if I wanted. You wouldn’t understand.’ He seethed, and Rey found her energy rising to match his. She was fairly sure she did understand.

 

‘A submission then,’ she pontificated,  ‘You break the rules, you have to prove your loyalty or you’re out.’ It was a gross manipulation that he clearly viewed as an act of love or fealty. If his faith in Snoke was strong enough it meant that the burden of loyalty was on Kylo, not his leader. He was worthless and had to prove himself, while his leader did not need him. Rey marvelled at how easily fooled and controlled the obviously physically strong, capable man in front of her was. Snoke needed him far more than he needed Snoke, she was sure of that. His response was more snarl than speech.

 

‘You still don’t understand. You haven’t met him.’ Rey tilted her head to one side. He had a point, and she hoped she did one day meet the Supreme Leader, if only to give him a piece of her mind. 

 

‘Ok, ok. I won’t push it.’ She held up her hands, ‘But you still came here. He found out about you using the phone, so he knows you wanted to come but he still let you?’

 

‘I weighed the consequences of coming and not coming. Coming seemed more important.’ He looked down. ‘Snoke says it’s weakness. I’ll have to prove myself somehow.’ He took a breath and looked up at her again. ‘It is weakness. I’ll deal with any consequences.’ 

 

When Rey spoke it was soft; careful. ‘You sound like you’re speaking to yourself more than to me.’ His lips parted slightly, surprised.

 

‘I think I was.’ he murmured, and Rey smiled sadly. 

 

‘I have to go. Stay safe, ok?’ She wanted to stay, or to bring him back to her apartment and lock him there so he couldn’t do anything stupid. She reached her hand out to squeeze his, but he pulled it back, standing up. She noted his lack of response and stood too, shoulders slumped. She saw Kylo begin to turn away, but stop as though struck by a sudden thought. 

 

‘Rey?’

 

‘Kylo.’

 

‘I, um.’ He swallowed. ‘You too. Stay safe.’ He paused again, and took a breath, blurting out. ‘Don’t- look, don’t depend on Han Solo ok. He’s not-’ the man clenched a fist ‘he isn’t as reliable as you’d hope.’ There was something troubling in his words, however well meant, and she found herself looking apprehensively after him as he left, unable to shake the questions from her mind. How did he know Han Solo? Why shouldn’t she depend on him - not that she did.- she depended on herself, she’d learned not to trust easily, however carefree she may appear to her friends. If she was going to depend on anyone it would be her landlord, a man who had become a sort of surrogate father figure, or her boss. She knew if she ever did let herself need anyone they would be there. 

 

When she returned to the office, she found Leia standing beside her desk. ‘Is everything ok?’ She asked, concern spilling into every syllable. Rey grimaced. 

 

‘I don’t know.’ She glanced at her watch and realised what Leia must mean. ‘Oh, yeah, sorry. Kylo asked to meet - said it was an emergency, shit, I should have let you know. I’m sorry.’ Leia frowned and Rey braced herself. She could handle being yelled at, but disappointment was like a knife in her guts. It meant she had failed, and she was supposed to be capable. She was an adult, she should be able to do her damn job without fucking up like this. She cursed Kylo in her head; the man had a way of making everything else seem unimportant. Probably some mind trick, but that was no excuse. She should have texted. SHe prepared herself, but when she looked up at Leia again all she saw was concern. 

 

‘Urgent? Are you ok? Is he ok?’ She spoke quickly, jarring Rey from her internal crisis and giving her purpose to distract from the churning in her stomach.

 

‘I’m fine. He’s… I mean fine as he ever is. He’s pretty deep in all this Order nonsense, but if he wasn’t we wouldn’t be speaking to him, right?’ 

 

Leia nodded, ‘No, of course. What was so urgent that he had to drag you away from your desk, then?’  Rey sighed at that. She still wasn’t sure why Kylo was at all concerned.

 

‘It might be a trick,’ she began cautiously, ‘but he told me to warn you away from your current case. The thing with Rinrivin. Said you didn’t understand what you were getting into and you needed to be careful.’ She watched Leia visibly suppress her reaction, but the woman couldn’t completely fight the grin straining to take over her face. 

 

‘There’s something in it then. Ben’s an idiot if he thinks that’ll keep me away.’ Rey noted that it was Ben again, rather than Kylo and noted it. She would get to the bottom of this little mystery. 

 

‘He seemed serious.’ She shrugged, ‘I don’t know, it’s probably nothing right?’ She began to sit down, but she stood again. ‘He took the phone without permission, and that’s big, I think. And I don’t think he was lying. Obviously you’re going to proceed with the case, but if it was important enough for him to risk-’ 

 

Leia’s lips grew thin and she nodded. ‘Yes. Thank you, Rey, I understand.’ She did, Rey thought, pleased that someone did. She had no idea what was happening. What she did know was that she needed to try and sort out this planning permission thing; if Snoke was busy building he would be distracted at least - not that she relished the idea of allowing the Order to expand. 

 

She groaned and lifted the phone to her ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh Snoke. What a dick. The actual worst. 
> 
> How are you guys? Are you good? My life has been insane but we're getting back to normal... Plus 4 weeks until the Holidays - I'mma write so much!! And learn new instruments. It'll be the best time. Enough over sharing from me though...
> 
> Thanks so much for all the comments, it's a lovely addition to my day <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People start to get sick at a restaurant Rey knows is to do with the Order. She is compelled to investigate.

‘Right. Well thank you for letting me know. Keep me updated.’ Rey put the phone down. Shit. This had to be the Order. The election was tomorrow, and they didn’t have the numbers yet to win, yet they hadn’t campaigned at all. Now people eating at an establishment she knew they had ties to - they delivered food for the people attending their ‘detoxes’ - were suddenly getting sick. The restaurant in question was popular in the town, and it delivered too. They could easily incapacitate a large portion of the population and swing the vote their way. She swallowed, feeling ill at the prospect of someone poisoning people in their small town. Grabbing her backpack and bike helmet, she sprang from her desk and popped her head into Leia’s office. ‘Another one. I’m going to the restaurant, I’ll see if I can get their receipts. Am I ok to ask Poe to come along and lend some authority?’ 

 

‘Sorry, dear?’ Leia looked up from her computer, frown lines etched into her forehead and her usually smiling eyes exhausted. Since Kylo’s warning, she had been working longer hours, determined to work out what was going on with the mysterious weapons dealer who had popped up in their neighbourhood. Rey sighed and repeated her question, to which Leia nodded before looking up again. ‘Call Chewie too - just in case things get dangerous. He’s a good guy to have on board when things go south.’ Rey nodded and closed the door gently as Leia got back to work. She pulled out her phone and held it to her ear with one shoulder as she put on her helmet and ran down the stairs.

 

‘Hey Chewie, Leia wanted me to let you know I’m going fact finding and things might get hairy… No that was not a jibe, I love your beard… Yeah well, everyone does… No, ok… The Tarkin first, yeah then the Hospital… Nah I’m bringing my bike I’ll be fine, thanks.’ She hung up on Chewie and began dialling Poe’s number. She hadn’t seen him much since she had helped him and FInn decorate - the two had sort of disappeared into their new life together - she missed them. Her conversation with Poe was short, this was a work call not a catch up, but it was nice to hear his voice. They agreed to meet outside The Tarkin, a restaurant oblique pub which Rey was quick to criticise for its lack of decent chips (and the fact that it called them ‘fries’ despite purporting to be a traditional British pub) and the fact that it was altogether too clean and stylish to be a proper pub. She didn’t eat there and had advised her friends to avoid it - today she was grateful for that, though Han had apparently not heeded her warnings and managed to get himself sick. She saw Chewie leaning up against an old car that she was pretty sure Han owned, but that Chewie seemed to be driving everytime she saw him. He grunted a greeting and she nodded, looking around for Poe. She liked Chewie. The man barely spoke, but his heart was in the right place, and he was always around to help out when anyone needed him. 

 

Poe arrived moments later, careening into the carpark, sirens blaring. She stomped over to his car as soon as it parked and bashed on the window. ‘Sirens?’ She asked, eyes blazing. Poe shrugged.

 

‘You told me to be here as soon as I could,’ he winked and left his vehicle. 

 

‘I cycled and you got here after me.’ She told him dryly, and turned her back on him, walking back to where Chewie stood. ‘You ok to wait outside?’ She asked the huge man, who smiled at her and nodded. He would come barreling in and sort out any fight if Rey called, but for now she didn’t need his imposing presence behind her right now. She had Poe and his badge which would hopefully get her the receipts she needed to prove her theory and see how many people were affected. The numbers wouldn’t help, but it would at least warn her if her suspicions were correct and the First Order were going to win the election. She would drop by her polling station later on to do her bit to stop Hux’s landslide victory, but if they were poisoning people she didn’t know how much her one vote would do. 

 

She left the restaurant with the confirmation she needed. ‘Yep, everyone who’s sick ate here or ordered from them last night. I can’t tie it to the Order directly, but the timing is definitely suspicious.’ She rubbed both eyes with her fingertips, yawning. ‘Right, I’ll let you get on Poe, thanks. Chewie, you wanted to come to the hospital to see Han, right?’ The man nodded and grunted, nodding to Rey’s bike. ‘Right, yeah. I’ll leave that here if you can drop me off again later to get it.’ Chewie nodded again and opened the car door for Rey to hop in. Rey wanted to talk to Han anyway, to see how he knew Kylo, and she needed to ask if he’d seen anything suspicious at the restaurant last night. He was the only one in the hospital thankfully - an allergic reaction or something - but Chewie wanted to see him and that meant Rey could get a lift. Now was as good a time as any.

 

She spotted Finn in the hospital car park as she and Chewie left the vehicle, and waved him over. ‘Hey, how’s it going?’ Finn grinned at her. 

 

‘I got a job! It’s just cleaning, but it’ll tide me over while I’m completing my studies, and we’re pretty near the police station so I can see Poe on my breaks. It’s perfect!’ Rey pulled him into a hug, his grin reflected in her features despite how tired and stressed she was.

 

‘That’s amazing! Well done Finn I’m so proud.’ He had come such a long way, and she felt a little lump in her throat. Leaving the Order after he grew up there was a huge deal, and he had been instrumental in her establishing the background information she needed, despite the fact that he had been almost useless when she asked him about Kylo. Apparently the two hadn’t had any contact within the organisation because of Kylo’s senior position. Still, Finn was probably her closest friend these days, and she was happy for him. She should get back to work though/ ‘Hey, Han’s sick, and we’re visiting. You want to join us? I’ll be doing some work chat, but it’s mostly social.’ 

 

‘Sure I’ll come along. Not seen that guy for a few weeks, how’s he do-’ Finn grimaced, glancing over at the hospital - ‘I’m guessing not so good. Let’s go find out.’ Finn released Rey from the hug, and the three set off into the hospital. Rey tried to finegle the room number by pretending to be Han’s daughter, and when that failed, Chewie muttered something to the nurse that neither Rey nor Finn could make out, but they saw the woman blush and type something into her computer. Moments later they were on their way upstairs to the room Han was in. 

 

‘He’s been declining,’ a nurse murmured to them as they headed towards the room. ‘The doctor spoke to his friend earlier. Visiting hours are technically earlier, but we made an exception. I’ll leave you here.’ He took Chewie’s hand between his and pressed it. ‘I hope he pulls through. He was cracking everyone up a couple of hours ago, just seemed to take a turn for the worse all of a sudden.’ With that he left them standing by the doorway to a small room. Rey heard quiet voices from inside and peered through a window. She was shocked to see Kylo in there, sitting on the edge of Han’s bed, speaking in a low voice. She couldn’t make out his words, but the look on his face told her this was not an easy conversation. She hung back and gestured for her friends to do the same. There was something going on between the two men, and while she’d happily intrude on whatever Kylo was up to, she saw Han was equally serious and wanted to give him space. If he was sick, one difficult conversation was enough without Rey bursting in and doubtless getting told off by Kylo for intruding, or maintaining her relationship with Han, or whatever he was determined about that day. Finn muttered something about coffee, squeezing Rey’s arm before he left. Rey grabbed her phone and texted Leia.  _ Han’s in a bad way. You should come.  _ A few minutes later she received the response. 

 

_ Later. I’m getting close to something, don’t want to lose my flow. Tell him hi.  _ Rey sighed and shoved the phone back in her pocket, Leia knew she wouldn’t exaggerate - she should be here, but Rey wasn’t about to intrude on their relationship. Chewie cocked his head to one side. ‘Leia,’ she explained, ‘She’s going to try and swing by later.’ She started to tap her foot, but Chewie shot her a look, a few minutes in and she stopped. She was bad at waiting. Chewie was wringing his hands, which Rey found equally aggravating, but she didn’t say anything. The huge man was more anxious than she had ever seen, and he was a worrier at the best of times 

 

They waited, Rey straining but ultimately failing to make out what passed between the two men behind the closed door. She saw Han reach up to touch Kylo’s cheek, the movement seemingly costly. The soft beep, beep, beep of the heart monitor that had accompanied her eavesdropping cut, replaced by an extended sound. No. That meant- no. It had only been a few days ago that Han had dropped by to check her plumbing (Rose’s plumbing) was up to scratch. She had made him coffee, and he had been perfectly healthy. They had talked about cars mostly, and his adventures with Luke and Leia back in the good old days. He couldn’t just be gone. It was too quick. 

 

Time stood still for a moment, then all at once Kylo opened the door and Rey barely had time to note the bruising on his cheek and neck, or his red rimmed eyes before Chewie, who had been standing stock still in shock, launched himself at the other man, knocking him to the ground and pinning his arms while he punched him. For his part, Kylo didn’t seem to struggle or fight back, barely reacting to the blows despite the sound Rey could only assume was ribs cracking. Secretly glad of the distraction from her thoughts, despite her outrage at Chewie’s unfounded assault, Rey grabbed the back of Chewie’s shirt collar and tugged. ‘Stop!’ She yelled. ‘You’re in a hospital, what the hell are you doing?’

 

‘He fucking, he-’ Chewie snarled the words and ended his sentence with an unintelligible roar, but nonetheless stood, stomped past Kylo into Han’s room and sat beside the bed with his head in his hands as doctors and nurses arrived on the scene. Glancing briefly at the still figure of the man in the room beyond; the man who had always been more full of life than anyone else she knew Rey pressed her lips together, fighting back tears. Now was not the time. She should help Kylo. She grabbed his arm and helped him up, intending to take him to the emergency room to get his ribs seen to, but as soon as he was on his feet he wrested his arm from her and stumbled off. She ran after him but moments later chaos erupted once more as he met Finn in the corridor. Finn took one look at him, blanched and then launched himself at the taller man. 

 

‘I am  _ not _ going back!’ He went to punch Kylo’s face, but the man caught his fist and twisted his arm.

 

‘I didn’t come here to bring you back,’ he hissed into Finn’s ear from behind as the other man struggled futilely against his iron grip. ‘The Supreme Leader has no place for  _ traitors  _  in his ranks,’ and then before Rey could do anything Finn was on the ground and Kylo was kicking him. She grabbed the enraged man’s arm and tried to pull him away like she had Chewie just minutes earlier, but it had no effect. He was still kicking Finn who had curled in on himself on the ground, and when Rey looked at Kylo’s face she didn’t see the man she knew - she saw a monster. This was about a lot more than Finn leaving the Order. Kylo was caught in a fury of his own muddled feelings, though about what she couldn’t be sure. He wasn’t going to stop. He was going to kill Finn. 

 

Something snapped in Rey and she looked around for anything she could use as a weapon. She grabbed a mop and broke the head off over her knee. Desperate times. Wielding it like a sword, she faced Kylo down, kicking him where he had been holding his presumably broken ribs and drawing him away from where Finn lay. ‘What the  _ fuck  _ are you doing?’ She demanded as she backed him up against the wall and jabbed his shoulder hard with the end of her stick. 

 

‘He’s a traitor. He doesn’t deserve a  _ life  _ outside of the Order. There  _ is _ no life outside of the Order.’ Kylo asserted, wrenching the weapon from her hand and flinging it aside. ‘I’m not going to fight you. We have no quarrel.’ 

 

Rey bared her teeth. ‘You were going to kill my best friend. That’s a quarrel in my book.’ She kicked him again, in the stomach this time, finding herself sickeningly satisfied as he winced. He tried to catch her hands as she went for him again, but she was too fast, and she could see he was getting tired. She had him on the defensive, backing up as she landed blow after blow on his chest, stomach and shoulders. How dare he? After everything she had done trying to help him? She was furious. She spotted a bench behind him and grunted, still driving the man back until - It happened in slow motion. It wasn’t her intention, but it seemed like the universe had other plans. Not noticing the bench behind him, Kylo tripped and twisted as he fell through a glass screen. When he looked up, Rey felt her stomach turn. He reached a shaky hand to his face, furrowing his brow at the blood that stained his hand when he pulled it away. ‘I-’ He breathed out a shaky breath before his head hit the ground with a sickening thud. Rey looked down at her hands in panic. She heard sirens and then there was someone behind her, speaking quickly about her right to remain silent. Everything seemed to slip away as the reality hit her. Han was dead. She was going to jail. She didn’t know how badly hurt Kylo was, but she knew she had hurt him more than Snoke ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so nervous about this chapter guys, it is a stressful one. I just hope it's not rushed... We're kind of mirroring canon to an extent right now, but we'll be diverging pretty strongly soon... 
> 
> I love angry Rey she is my favourite. Wtf was Kylo up to? Such mysteries. Also I made myself sad about Han again but oh well. I'm seeing Solo tomorrow so I'll just pretend everything is fine.
> 
> Comments and kudos make me happy <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of all that insanity from last chapter

‘He’s not going to press charges,’ Leia murmured to Rey as she took the girl by the arm and lead her from the police station. Poe had called Leia as soon as he heard what had happened. He himself had rushed to the hospital to check Finn was going to be ok, and neither woman had heard from him since. ‘What happened, Rey?’ Rey felt her lip quiver, and she turned her face away from Leia. ‘He was there. When Han died, I don’t know why, but-’ She stopped when Leia stopped walking. 

 

‘He was there?’ She took a shaky breath in and breathed out slowly. ‘Well that’s something at least,’ the older woman’s voice cracked and Rey felt hot tears spilling down her own cheeks as she hugged her boss. Now was not the time to question what Leia meant, or what their connection with Kylo was. For now she just needed to be there for her boss as they mourned the loss of their friend. After a few moments the women separated, each wiping their tears away and setting their expressions to something more business-like. Leia sighed and placed her hands on Rey’s shoulders, looking the young woman in the eyes with a strange expression. There was determination there, but something lurked behind it. Apprehension? Guilt? Her words suggested it was a combination of the two. ‘Rey there’s something I haven’t told you. It hasn’t had any relevance to the case so far and I thought it would muddy the waters so I kept it secret.’ She took a deep breath and continued, speaking quietly. ‘He’s my son. Kylo- Ben is his real name, but I think you already caught that - he’s my son.’ Rey’s lips parted and for a minute she was speechless, working through the implications. 

 

‘Han was his father?’ She asked, already knowing the answer. She had seen it in his familiar expressions, the small mannerisms they shared which made perfect sense now. It had been Han he had run from that day at the coffee shop, and he obviously had some issues with his father that lead him to warn her to steer clear. ‘He had just watched his father die when I…’ Rey looked at Leia stricken, and the older woman pulled her into another hug, voice cracking as she began to speak. 

 

‘Poe explained what happened when he called, Rey. Ben is hardly faultless,’ her expression darkened, ‘I know what he can be like. I don’t imagine Snoke has helped him a great deal in that regard,’ She spat the Supreme Leader’s name like it was a dirty word and Rey flinched at the venom in the usually firm yet gentle woman’s voice. Leia softened again as she squeezed Rey tighter still before  pulling back, shooting Rey a sad smile. ‘It’s been a bad day for everyone. If you want to join us I’m headed to a bar with Chewie.’ 

 

Rey shook her head. She had only known Han for a year or so, she didn’t want to intrude on the grief of those who had known him practically their whole lives. Still she didn’t want to be on her own right now. ‘I’ll go back and make sure Finn’s ok,’ she paused for a moment before raising her gaze to meet Leia’s. ‘I’ll check on Ben too,’ She used his given name, having sensed Leia’s discomfort when she had used his moniker earlier in the conversation. She was surprised when Leia frowned, the lines on her forehead growing deeper. 

 

‘Rey, you don’t owe him anything. Don’t-’ she glanced away for a moment, -’it’s not your job to save Ben Solo. Enough people have tried and failed already,’ she said bitterly, before patting Rey’s arm and heading off towards where Chewie waited with Han’s old car.  

 

Rey watched her go, finding herself strangely infuriated by her lack of hope for Kylo. She was probably being stupid - Leia obviously knew her son better than Rey did after just a few conversations - but all the same she couldn’t help feeling sorry for the now fatherless man lying wounded in a hospital bed. She was furious with him for what he’d done to Finn but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still human. She would stick her head round his door and make sure he was doing ok, or at least as ok as he ever was. 

 

When she saw him, dark hair stark against the white hospital bedding, face almost as pale as the sheets he lay on, she wasn’t sure that he was. He jumped as she cleared her throat, blinking his eyes open and staring at her with apprehension. ‘What are you doing here?’ he asked her, eyeing her as she stood across the room. This was a mistake. She shouldn’t be here, she was still angry with him. Anything she said right now would jeopardise their relationship more than she already had. She turned on her heel and left the room. Ben followed. ‘Wait,’ he was breathless and when she turned she saw him holding his wrist where he had pulled out the drip to stand. He was shaky on his feet and she saw red blooming where the wrist he had presumably pulled the IV from was pressed against the hospital gown. 

 

‘Get back in bed, Ben.’ He froze. Rey cursed herself; his name had just slipped out, but since she had learned who he was she couldn’t think of him as Kylo. It was a stupid name anyway. He stared at her. ‘Sorry. Kylo. Get back in bed.’ 

 

‘Why are you here?’ he repeated, ignoring her question and her use of his given name. 

 

‘You should be angry with me.’ she replied, still not sure what the answer to his question was. 

 

‘I’m not,’ was his only response. No explanation, no justification, just… nothing. He seemed to look through her to something else - he was grieving, she supposed. She had never really grieved anyone - she had never had anyone to grieve. It was an experience she was glad to miss out on. Kylo looked like shit - his face and shoulder were bandaged where she had wounded him, the dark circles beneath his eyes seemed to deepen with every passing second, and he was barely standing upright. She sighed and walked toward him, ignoring his apprehensive expression. 

 

‘Yeah, well you’re an idiot.’ She told him, offering him her arm. He looked at the proffered limb but didn’t take it. 

 

‘I’m fine. I can’t stay here, I need to get back.’ 

 

Rey raised an eyebrow. ‘You can’t leave right now. It’s been less than a day, you need to recover.’  

 

‘There are doctors with the Order.’ He muttered, still refusing to take her arm. She groaned. Of course there were. 

 

‘Ben- Kylo- I’m not trying to trick you, or hurt you, or whatever you think is happening. Fuck.’ She dropped her head back, looking up at the ceiling. ‘Give me strength,’ she muttered, a quiet prayer to a God she stopped believing in  after her childhood prayers had gone unanswered for years. ‘I hurt you.’ She began quietly. ‘It wasn’t my intention, but it happened, and I’m not saying I was wrong to stop you hurting Finn - I wasn’t - but I went too far. Right now I just want you to get back to bed and recover. Look I’ll,’ she grimaced, ‘I’ll call the Order, ok? Let them know where you are. Don’t run off on your own. If something happened and it was my fault -’ she trailed off, and Kylo stared at her. She could see the gears turning in his head with every small twitch of his cheek and flick of his eyes. 

 

‘You couldn’t face Leia.’ He said softly. ‘A rock and hard place for you, I’m sure,’ he screwed his eyes closed, wincing as the movement pulled his stitches. ‘Send me back to a place you’re actively trying to destroy, or let me go unaccompanied.’ A half smile pulled at the corner of his lips, but didn’t reach his eyes. Rey’s stomach turned. It was like he had read her mind, and she was not used to people seeing how she felt, not really. She needed to seem in control, if she seemed in control she was. She had lost that twice now, both times because of him and she hated it. Her temper flared again.

 

‘If you try to leave I will call Poe and have him arrest you. He is just waiting for an excuse right now, and if that means you press charges against me so be it. I am not letting you walk out of this hospital when you are still injured.’ She pulled out her phone and began scrolling through her recent calls until she found Poe’s number. Looking back up, she met Kylo’s eyes as her thumb hovered over the button. He scowled and held out his hand. 

 

‘Give me the phone, I’ll call someone to come get me.’ He muttered, but Rey kept her grip on the phone. 

 

‘Number?’ She demanded and Kylo rolled his eyes and rattled off a number. She punched it in and held the phone up to her ear. The man on the other end picked up almost before the first ring,

 

‘This is a private number, I suggest you hang up and forget you called.’ A sneering british voice answered. 

 

‘I’m here with Kylo. We’re at the hospital, he wants to leave, but I’m not letting him go alone.’ She said shortly, and she thought she heard a gasp on the other end of the line, but whoever it was recovered quickly. 

 

‘Of course he is. I’ll be along presently.’ The line went dead. 

 

‘Hux?’ Rey asked Kylo, and the man inclined his head. ‘Right.’ She pressed her lips together again, concerned. ‘I’m sorry about your father.’ She told him and he shook his head, 

 

‘I’m not,’ his voice became strained, ‘I’ll go back to my room until Hux arrives,’ he walked towards her unsteadily and she moved to let him pass, watching as he made it through the door and sank back onto the bed. She waited until he let his eyes flutter closed until she walked off in search of a nurse to replace the IV he had torn from his arm in his attempt to escape. It took her about fifteen minutes to find a free medical professional, a harried matriarch with bright blue hair who spent the short walk muttering about how much easier her job would be if there were no patients getting in the way, but by the time they reached Kylo’s room, he was gone. The nurse shot her a baffled look and Rey huffed a breath. ‘His friend was coming to pick him up. I didn’t realise they’d be so quick.’ She wanted to burst into tears, or go to bed and sleep for a week, but it struck her that she had no idea how Finn was. Kylo had distracted her from what she had come here to do in the first place. The nurse must have noticed her voice wavering, because a moment later she was standing beside Rey with a hand on her shoulder. 

 

‘It looks like you could use a friend yourself right now. Do you want to talk?’ Rey bit her lip. She did. 

 

‘I’m ok.’ She told the woman, who squeezed her shoulder and walked off. Rey stood in the empty room for a few moments more, collecting herself before she headed out again, looking for Finn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This'll probably be the last chapter for a few weeks - school is insane right now plus my contract is up so I am job hunting too. 2 and a half weeks and it's the Summer Holidays so I should be back on schedule <3
> 
> Thanks to everyone who's commented and left kudos so far! More pls?


End file.
